While I know Rumi isn’t talking about the mask I wear with makeup and hair colour and big sunglasses, I know it’s part of it. And I continue to work on that daily. But what he really means is that in order to shine bright in our lives–in order to BE THE PEOPLE WE ARE MEANT TO BE–there is really only one thing that works: We must show up as we really are. Sharing our truth, opening up and telling our REAL stories–being who we REALLY are–this is how we allow ourselves to be SEEN.
And it is only when we are brave enough to be seen–REALLY seen–that people can know us.
When people know us, they build trust with us. They develop authentic relationships with US rather than our REPRESENTATIVES.
In order for others to know us, we have to show up as we really are, not pretending our way through life the way I did for so long, wandering around behind others trying to find myself. It took me forever to learn what I like (and I am STILL figuring it out), what I want out of life, what I believe in and what I don’t. The practice of un-learning has been exhausting, and I wonder how much time I could have saved had I simply accepted myself and tried to actually get to know the ME that is behind my many masks.
Showing up as we really are is–in and of itself–an act of bravery. Because being vulnerable, taking a stand, having opinions, and sharing our painful, embarrassing, and challenging experiences takes courage. Breaking free of the mask we all wear means sharing our truths no matter how hard that feels.
And this is the stuff that life is truly made of.
We know when it’s happening. We feel the tightening of our chest and the shortness of our breath when we are about to share something real. We enter that space worrying that we might be judged, criticized or condemned. We worry what others will think, and we fear no longer being perceived the way we feel comfortable being perceived.
But if we can push past that fear and share our dark with someone, it’s incredible what happens. In that sacred moment, we are not only showing up for them, but we are showing up for ourselves. We are doing what we know we need to do in order to grow. Our vulnerability provides a chance for the other to show compassion, and in this beautiful dance between vulnerability and compassion, we build trust.
We feel more connected to humanity.
We feel more alive.
Because if there is one thing I know about human beings, it’s that we know how to relate.
We have ALL felt pain.
We have ALL felt shame.
We have ALL hurt others or acted the fool.
We have ALL been embarrassed or scared or angry.
We are NOT alone and in order to prove it, we need to show our faces.
Tell me, how good do you feel after a juicy gossip session with a friend where you’ve judged and criticized and mocked? Sure, at first it can feel exciting to get all the latest dirt. But, personally, these conversations leave me feeling…icky. Like I need a hot shower or a liver cleanse. Now, tell me how you feel after a friend confides in you–baring their soul–really connecting with you and sharing their deepest fears; a struggle they’re going through; grief, shame, pain.
THESE are the conversations I live for!
When I can open up and share with someone, it’s like the greatest gift; a true blessing. These are the conversations I leave feeling less and also more: less alone and more connected; less shame and more compassion; less pain and more support; less hate and more love; less chaos and more peace; less asleep and more awake.
Rather than continue to wear the mask that tells everyone I’m doing fiiine even when things are not fine (because Lord knows, asking for help is a sign of weakness) I want to show you who I really am. I do it here–on this blog and on my social media posts–but I am also actively working to create more authenticity in my conversations. I want MORE. More truth, more honesty, more REAL.
So let’s tear off our masks.
I want to see you.
I promise not to judge or laugh or make you feel like less.
Because I want you to love your life one bite at a time
P.S. Over the years, I have enjoyed these 21 Day Guided Meditations with Oprah and Deepak. They are FREE and this one started yesterday, but it’s not too late to join! This one is about the energy of attraction, and I hope you join me in this beautiful practice for the next 21 days. xo
P.P.S. If you’d like to start adding in more REAL to your life, you might enjoy my 14 Days of Wellness. Simply enter your name and email address on the home page, here. It’s free, with no diets, products, challenges or catches (you’ll just start getting a Tuesday email from me and you can unsubscribe at any time). I’d love to stay connected. xo
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