BIG Love

I just finished reading Big Love by Scott Stabile. It was a joy to read, and I gobbled it up during a recent visit to the spa with Roger for his birthday. It was a truly decadent way to spend the day…soaking up the warm sun and enjoying the delicious words that Scott served up.

I am a big fan of memoirs and a bigger fan of redemption stories. Scott offers both in his work. I won’t be spoiling the book by letting you know that Scott’s parents were murdered when he was a young teenager. It changed everything for him and it set the stage for so many of the decisions he made as he grew and evolved as a human being.

Not many of us have experienced the kind of trauma that Scott did. And it is hard to imagine how any of us would have dealt with that kind of devastation. But one things is for sure; we would have been forever changed by the incident.

That is how traumatic incidents work; they change us. And while no one deserves to have their parents taken away at such a young age and through such a violent act, and while no one deserves to get cancer or lose a child or be hurt by someone else, the truth is, bad things happen.

Trauma does find us.

And it changes us.

But I believe we can change for the better, even in the wake of tragedy.

I believe that in order to live a big, full life, we must search for the meaning in the trauma.

I’m not suggesting that it’s easy to do by any means. And it can take years and even decades before we are able to see our pain as the teacher that it is. But I believe that using our pain to teach us more about ourselves is necessary if we plan to thrive in our lives.

If we want to live life to the edges, pushing the margins, and squeezing as much life out of it as we can, then we simply have to expect that we will hurt and that we will hurt others. And then we have to figure out what we can learn from our experiences…so that we can heal–us and each other.

My sister-friend Jessica posted this quote recently and I knew it had to be shared here.

In my experience, being in active addiction felt like hell. At the time, I didn't know I was in hell. It just always felt chaotic and dirty and wrong and I knew I wasn't living to my potential, but I had no clue how else to "do life".

How does one possibly live their life without drinking???!!!

And while hitting my rock bottom, at first, felt like the end of me, it was truly the beginning. By being broken open, I was able to find a new way of living; a better way and a way that allows me to serve others in a way I never could have, had I stayed where I was.

They say pain is unavoidable and suffering is optional. I believe this is true. We cannot escape our pain because the more we try to escape it, the more life tries to teach us the lesson. If we don't tend to it and honour it, the sicker we become, often without even realizing it.

We might become physically ill and suffer with chronic pain or a disease. Perhaps we damage our relationships with our closest friends and family. We might suffer with depression or turn to drugs like alcohol, opiates and cocaine to help us feel better. Perhaps we turn to other people outside of our intimate relationships or maybe we bury ourselves in our work or our hobbies and we begin to shut out the outside world.

I encourage you to look at your own pain--tragic events or challenging incidents that have occurred in your own life that have kept you stuck. Situations that you might be able to delve into in order to learn more about yourself.

What has happened in your life that you harbor resentment over or feel pain around? Can you reframe the incident and find a lesson there that can help you see it differently, heal and move on?

If you are hurting and have been trying to avoid the pain, then I invite you to consider how you might be able to turn your experience into a lesson that heals you and, in turn, serves others. Because when we heal our pain, the whole world benefits.

I think most of us have experienced times when we've wondered how we will keep going. Where we feel like we have been given so much bad news that no matter what, we can't come back from it. Or we believe we've done something so terrible that our people will never forgive us. Or we've been so hurt by others that we don't know how to go on.

But what I love about Scott's story--and redemption stories in general--is that we are reminded that no matter how bad it gets; no matter how hurt we've been; no matter how poorly we've behaved; no matter how many people we've hurt; no matter how many times we've fu*#ed up, we can always, always change.

Because we are not our past. We are not our mistakes. We are not our misdoings. 

And we are allowed to change.

I hope you read Scott's book. Because he does an excellent job of teaching us how we can all experience more meaning and joy in our lives by seeking out opportunities to find--and create--more love.

Because love wins.

Because I want you to love your life one bite at a time.

P.S. Do YOU want to share your redemption story?Are you in recovery from something (depression, cancer, divorce, addiction, PTSD, etc.) and have a desire to write about your experience? Then I invite you to learn more about our online Writer’s Retreat that will teach you how to write your story–from start to finish–and self-publish your book, the way I did, in order to heal yourself and help others. If this speaks to you, click here for details!

P.P.S. On April 21 & 22, 2018, Roger and I, along with our team, are hosting The Healthy Brain and Body Show for the second year. We are so pumped to bring this show back even bigger and better! We would love to see you there as an attendee, where we will have so much cool stuff to show you. We can't wait to explore, connect, learn and shop at the show WITH you! Please say hello if you come. Roger and I will both be there the entire weekend. It would be a thrill to meet you. 🙂

And if you--or someone you know--might be interested in being an Exhibitor with us, feel free to send them here where they can view/download the Exhibitor/Sponsor Package.

We can't WAIT to serve you, so remember to save the date! 

P.P.S. Let’s be friends! I’d love to connect on Facebook , Twitter and Instagram. Plus, if you haven’t already subscribed to my blog, you should! That way, you won’t miss anything. For joining, you get my personal meal plan, shopping list, and a week’s worth of easy, tasty recipes.

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