Billy & Me…My Night With Billy Idol

I am scared to post this story. I am concerned with what people will think of me after reading it. I wonder if people will think I made it up. I worry that people will see me as irresponsible and stupid.

But as I continue to share myself with you, I am learning that I have made decisions and done things that others may not have made or done; but this is my life.

Regardless of what others think of it, I am sharing it because it is my truth and I have begun to enjoy pushing myself outside my comfort zone and towards judgment; even though it scares the crap out of me.

This post is long. And it is no more than a story from the book of my life.

In fact, it was written as a chapter in my memoir, not as a blog post. But with Billy Idol making his way back to Ottawa this Thursday to kick off Bluesfest, I thought the timing was right…and the memoir is still being written.

So, I hope you enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed recounting it.

After all, he is “Billy Fu@*ing Idol”.

It is the summer of 2008, and I am 35 years old. A colleague of mine calls me to say she has received front-row tickets to see 80’s band Def Leppard playing at our local concert stadium that night. Billy Idol is opening. She invites me to go with her. I grew up in the 80’s and 90’s and both bands bring back memories of my youth. Without much hesitation, I agree to go. 

As I'm in the shower washing my hair, I decide that I will meet Billy Idol tonight. I have been working on my manifesting skills and have been successful at creating several things in my life.

I believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that I will meet him at the show tonight.

To be honest with you, I don’t even know why I want this to happen so badly. I have never been a huge fan (I mean, I liked his music growing up, but I didn’t buy his albums and I didn't have his posters lining my locker door) and so I don’t even consider what I will say to him when we indeed meet.

Nevertheless, I decide that I will meet him. As I lather up my hair, I picture him on stage singing away and then, catching me out of the corner of his eye, I see him come over and sing directly to me. I feel the butterflies in my stomach as he looks right at me. I see the sweat on his face, the intensity in his eyes and that signature curled-up lip.

That’s about as far as I get. I decide to let the rest play out as it will, and I finish getting myself ready.

I drive to my friend’s place and we head out in her car to the venue. When we arrive, we show our tickets to an usher who escorts us down to the very front, which feels super cool. We are excited as we wait for the show to start. We scope the crowd, and although we aren’t the youngest women there, we certainly aren't the oldest. We fit right in.

Before long, the show starts. Billy takes the stage and starts belting out one of his signature tunes, probably White Wedding or Flesh for Fantasy or Rebel Yell (I don’t remember, but I know he saves Mony Mony for the end) and so we sing along and dance on our own private dance floor. It’s exciting to be that close to the action, being able to really see Billy’s expressions and all of the band members up close. I’ve never been in the front row of a big concert before, so this is an exhilarating first.

I keep waiting for Billy to notice me. I keep staring at him, willing him to look my way. I stare so intently that if he did look over, he’d probably think I was crazy. It doesn’t happen but I’m having a great time singing along and dancing to his most popular tunes.

I can’t help but notice an attractive red-headed woman, probably in her mid-twenties, pacing back and forth, looking through the crowd and often landing her gaze on me. I smile at her and she smiles back. She seems friendly, and it is clear to me that she isn’t a fan, but someone who is with the band. It doesn’t make me uncomfortable more than it piques my curiosity.

She keeps walking back and forth, looking around and then texting on her phone and talking to a guy that appears to be a roadie or a bodyguard. She finally walks over to me and flashes a beautiful smile. She asks if we are having fun. “Yes!!!!!” She asks if we want our picture taken with Billy, who is still on stage. “Yes!!!!”

But then a weird thing happens. She quickly whisks us around and takes the photo using her own camera, with Billy on stage behind us.  She shows us the photo and smiles saying how cool it is and then walks away. We agree that it’s cool and we don’t really think much about it; we are having too much fun belting out whatever 80‘s hit he’s singing at the moment.

After Billy’s set, my friend and I are chatting and taking in the energy of the crowd while waiting for Def Leppard to come on. I am texting with one of my friends who is also at the show, and so I turn around hoping he can see me at the front. All of a sudden, the red-head comes over to me and asks if we want to meet Billy.

What??!!! OMG!!!!  I KNEW it!!!!!!!!

I am so excited but I don’t tell me friend about my decision in the shower, and I don’t let on to the red-head how excited I am. I try to act cool.

“Sure. We’d love to”.

She whisks us through the stage doors and walks us down a long corridor. We stop in front of a white door and she asks us to wait outside to make sure the band is ready.  We stand in the hallway barely able to contain our excitement…we are going to meet Billy Idol!!! I text my friend who’s still at the concert awaiting Def Leppard, and he is freaking out!! I tell him we’ll see if we can party with the band downtown after, and he should meet us then. It is all very exciting.

We do our best to act cool.

The red-head emerges and announces that the guys are ready to meet us.

We enter the room. It is a big, white room with black leather chairs and couches. Although it isn’t as glamorous as I'd have imagined, it is all pretty awesome. One guy is getting food from the buffet table, one is getting a beer from the fridge and a few of them are sitting on chairs on their phones. Steve Stevens, famous guitarist and Billy’s collaborator, walks in, comes right over and shakes our hands and says “nice to meet you”. He leaves the room. We never see him again.

We shake the rest of their hands and are happy to meet them all…all except Billy.

He isn’t there.

The red-head tells us that Billy is showering and will meet us shortly. She leaves the room. The guys are really friendly, offering us food and drinks. Neither my girlfriend nor I drink, so we decline the booze but she goes for some food. I can’t imagine eating ‘at a time like this’, so I just make myself as comfortable as I can on one of the black leather chairs.

We hang out for a while, making small talk and telling the band how great the show was. We enjoy hearing their take on the set and the drummer says he liked the change they made to "Flesh" and the others agree. It feels surreal being in on the behind-the-scenes of their artistry.

We ask where they are staying and they tell us The Westin Hotel, which is in Ottawa’s Byward Market, the hub of our nightlife. We suggest showing them around “the market” after the show.  They seem to like the idea.

We meet Billy's bodyguard who goes by the name “Toast”. We ask why he is called that and learn it’s because if anyone tries to mess with Billy, they’re “toast”.  We laugh. Although he’s a big guy, he seems really friendly.

Toast leaves the room.

A few minutes later, the red-head comes back and says that Billy is ready to meet us now. He enters with Toast close behind him and is kind of shy and awkward. We both stand up and shake his hand. He smells really good, a heady blend of musk and leather, and he is dressed in typical Billy fashion---black. Boots, leather, denim, rings, chains.

Although he has aged, he still suits his look. He has a charisma and an energy that is palpable.  He is sexy. We tell him he did a great job on stage and that we loved every minute. He is humble and thanks us. His voice is awesome. Having lived in the UK as a young girl, I have always had an affinity for British accents. Every word just sounds cool. Seriously, he could be ordering a cheese sandwich, and it would sound like the coolest thing I’d ever heard.

We try to make normal conversation, but it isn’t easy. I don’t know how much more I can talk about the show or how awesome Billy is. When we hear Def Leppard start up, I’m not quite sure what to do next.  I’m not quite sure what is expected of us. I say to my girlfriend that we should get back to the concert. She agrees. We get Toast’s number so that we can text him when we are near their hotel and we make plans to show them around the market. We head back to our spots. I can’t help but feel we offended Billy by not ditching the rest of the show and leaving with them then.

Being so close to the stage, we can see every muscle and every move of each band member. I am so close, that I can see the regrowth on Phil Collen’s shaved chest. He is one of the lead guitarists and as we are singing along to “Animal” or “Photograph” or “Armageddon It”, he looks right at me and smiles. He looks away and keeps playing. He looks back at me and touches his finger near his eye, then points at me, mouthing the words, “I saw your picture”.

I freeze. It is in this moment that I start putting everything together. The red-head. The photo. Billy arriving late to the dressing room…

No matter what, it doesn’t stop us from heading to their hotel after the show and taking Billy, the band, and his entire posse on a tour of the market. We simply can’t pass up this chance to party with Billy Idol in Ottawa. Stuff like this doesn’t happen every day, and we are not just going to go home to bed.

We meet them in the lobby, and as soon as we walk out of the hotel, Billy immediately puts his arm around me and kisses my neck. It is soft and sensual, and near my ear and kind of makes me excited and nervous at the same time. I don’t t know this person at all, and yet he has his arm around me and is kissing my neck and I am so curious about what is going to happen next. I can’t say what he's doing doesn’t feel good, but everything feels very strange.

It all feels so contrived.

The red-head and her fiancé walk ahead of us and are kissing and grabbing each other’s asses.  After wandering around for a while, and having several people recognize Billy and ask for photos, we decide to stop in at The Rainbow Room, where everyone does a shot and orders beers. I order a soda water with lime. It is evident that Billy is disappointed I don’t drink, but he doesn’t pressure me.

We all talk and hang out, and the red-head and her man are all over each other at the bar. After a while, she pulls me aside and says “Billy likes you. I can tell”.  I respond that I am flattered that she thinks so, but that it is ridiculous because he doesn’t even know me.  She continues. “You have an opportunity here. A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Don’t pass this up.”

She goes back to making out with her man and I go back to talking with Billy. The whole thing has the hair on the back of my neck standing up, in an excited, nervous kind of way, but I keep going. My curiosity isn’t yet satisfied and this whole experience is proving to be extremely interesting.

We decide to check out another bar, so we head back out and land at The Heart & Crown, a pub we think Billy will like. Again, the whole crew orders shots and beers and the red-head again pulls me aside to tell me about the "amazing opportunity I have in my hands".

I decide to be straight with her. I tell her that there is no way I am sleeping with Billy. I remind her that we have only just met and that I am not going to sleep with him just because he is famous. I tell her that Billy should really try to pursue other options. I even start pointing out other girls at the bar suggesting she talk to them; to take their pictures to show him and see if they’ll do.

She tries to sweet-talk me; “No, no, it’s not like that! That’s not what this is! Billy really likes you, I can tell.” It is at this point that Toast comes over to join the conversation. Billy is just kind of hanging off to the side as his posse tries to work this deal. I’m on to them and I’m not biting, but they don’t fully understand that yet. Their tactics have worked on so many girls at so many concerts that they truly believe it is just a matter of time before they wear me down.

Toast pulls me aside. “Listen, I have worked with Billy for years, and I can tell you one thing for sure…he is the loneliest guy in show business. It’s honestly kind of sad. I feel bad for the guy.” I take another sip of soda water and say “Poor guy. I’m sure he’s lonely, but that has nothing to do with me.”

Here’s what they don’t get: They don’t get that I spent my entire drinking life sleeping with people just because they wanted to sleep with me and that I have have been working through that shame for years since getting sober; they don’t get that without the lubricant of alcohol, I have all of my inhibitions raised and my values intact so that there is absolutely no chance of me sleeping with a complete stranger; they don’t get that telling me someone really likes me who doesn’t even know my last name won't be enough to seal the deal; they don’t get that no one, not even some famous 80’s rocker is going to take away everything I have spent the last 6 years trying to rebuild, or, more accurately, building for the first time.

It simply isn’t going to happen. No way. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. The girl in me who would have slept with this guy is a shadow of myself in this moment. With each passing second firmly planted in my decision, my resolve grows stronger; I grow stronger and feel better than I have in a long time. I know I am not going to sleep with Billy Idol and it feels good knowing that he won’t be getting what he wants. I spent so many years feeling out of control. It feels good to be in control.

We all just kind of hang around at the bar, as people snap photos and the band buys another round of shots. My girlfriend is having a great time with the drummer. I look over and they have their arms around each other and they are kissing. I don't judge her. I have been that girl before.

Toast rallies us all together and tells us we’re heading back to the hotel to continue the party. We all just kind of follow along and we show them the way back to the Westin, with me & Billy at the back of the group. He continues to kiss my neck. He won’t kiss my lips. I don’t really want him to, but I know he won’t even if I did. I know he must have a “rule”. He only kisses girls on the mouth if he really likes them. Everyone else gets the neck.

We walk into the lobby of the hotel.

All of a sudden, I am whisked into an elevator with Toast and Billy and we head to the top floor. My eyes grow big and I ask where my friend and the rest of the band are going. Toast tells me not to worry about her; she’s having her own fun with the drummer. My heart starts to race. I hear the bell of the elevator and the doors open into the hallway, Toast opens the door to the suite, and Billy and I enter. Toast closes the doors behind himself and is gone.

It is just me and Billy. It all happened in the blink of an eye. It was incredible.

Billy offers me a drink. I decline. He tells me to make myself comfortable. I am not, but I am also intrigued by where this is all going to go.

I tell him I am not having sex with him.

He says, “No, darling. That’s not what this is”.

I am not scared, but my heart is racing.

I wonder why I asked the universe for this. What did I want to have happen?? I begin to feel a little guilty. I shouldn't be the one in his hotel room. A hundred other women would, in fact, see this as an "opportunity of a lifetime". I know I am wasting Billy’s time.

I feel bad, but I also told the red-head a dozen times that I wasn't a good candidate. She didn’t listen. “Billy really likes you...”

So I decide, 'Ok, then, Billy. Let’s see if you like me enough to want to get to know me.'

I try to begin a conversation. I ask him questions about his life.

I ask if he has kids. “Yes. A boy and a girl”. Are you close with them? “No”. I tell him I’ve always liked his music, but I’m not a crazy fan, so I don’t know much about him. He nods. I say this as much to explain all the questions as to enjoy this feeling of power in the presence of a celebrity. He is just a man, after all, and I am feeling strong in the knowledge that I will not be sleeping with him. I know that his belief in his ability to change my mind is the only reason I am here.

The only reason.

He starts to open up. He talks about how tough it is being “Billy Idol” and he tells me how he came to have his moniker. He was born William Broad but when a teacher scribbled the words on one of his papers “Billy is idle”, he liked the sound of it, but not the way they spelled it or with the negative connotation.

He talks about his days on heroin and his accident on his motorcycle.  He shows me the scar on his leg. It was over 20 years ago that he had the accident, and it is still a pretty nasty scar.

He talks about how he’s managed to stay relevant in a fickle business and his belief that he is a “touchstone” for people who may be lamenting their youth or who want to go back to a simpler time in their lives. We agree that the crowd tonight was more “his crowd” than Def Leppard’s.

I suppose I also say I’m not a fan so that he won’t like me, and maybe he’ll just get bored and walk me to the door and say goodnight. I am beginning to wonder how, or when, I am supposed to leave.

I have been in his room for almost 2 hours.

I ask him about his career. We talk about his relationship with Steve Stevens and how, after Steve got sober, everything changed. “It’s different, you know. He doesn’t come out with us like he used to. He just plays and then goes back to his room.” I tell him I understand as I don’t drink, either.

We talk a bit about his days of hard partying and he shares that those days are behind him. He drinks and smokes pot, but nothing more these days. I feel the need to congratulate him as I sip my Evian water. 

And then all of a sudden, it happens. I have no warning (not that this whole situation hasn’t been warning enough), but he leans right over me and pushes my hair out of the way to kiss my neck. I feel his hands go under my shirt and up over my breasts. His hands are soft but strong and he smells so good and it’s “Billy fu@*ing Idol”. I gently push him away.

“I’m really sorry, Billy.” I somehow feel the need to apologize. “I tried to tell you earlier that this wasn’t going to happen. I’m really sorry.”

He gets up. I stand up. He walks over to the door and nods his head toward it. He turns the knob to open it, and, without looking at me, simply says, “Get out”.

I repeat “I’m really sorry…where is my girlfriend?” He laughs a deep, smoker’s laugh and says, “Like hell I’m going to ruin their night, too!” and he shuts the door in my face.

I am standing in the hallway, bewildered, not sure what the hell has just happened. Not sure what I should do now. Not sure if I should be on the hunt for my girlfriend or if I should just get the hell out of there.

I take the elevator down to the lobby. The security guard asks me if everything is alright. I realize I must have a strange look on my face. “Yes. I’m fine”. I sit on one of the couches and begin texting like mad, but my friend isn’t answering. Her phone is off. I check my watch…3:20 a.m. I sit in the lobby until 4:30 a.m. She still hasn’t answered. I get a cab and head home. 

I get home and write in my journal. I can’t believe what's happened. I am bewildered and exhilarated and feeling strange all at the same time. And then a funny thing happens. I want to call my parents.

Growing up, I NEVER talked to my parents about boys or sex or my behaviour. I denied being sexually active for many years, even after my parents knew I was on the birth control pill. But for whatever reason, lying in bed thinking about my crazy evening with Billy Idol, I want to tell them about it. I want them to know that I didn’t sleep with him.

Inside all of my mixed emotions, one feeling rings loud and clear; self-respect. I am feeling proud of my decision and I respect myself for making it. And I want my parents to know about it.

At about noon, my friend calls and asks how my night was. I describe it in detail. I ask why she turned off her phone and she says she didn't realize she did...she lets me know she had a good time with the drummer. We discuss needing a better plan next time.

I filled my cup that night. I learned that no one can push me into something I don’t want to do, no matter how persuasive they are. I realized how much respect I have for myself and for my body; this temple I have honoured for years and will continue to respect for as long as I am alive.

I realized that I really can manifest anything I put my mind to, and so I must be careful of what I wish for.

That day, I began writing a list.

"100 things I want in a partner”. Nowhere on the list was there "highlighted hair", "wears leather" or "sings in a band". Instead, it included things like "sober", "honest", "kind", "easy to be with", "sincere", "knows who he is and is confident", and even went as far as "wears glasses", is "nerdy" and "has a great relationship with his parents". I kept it with me at all times. It would be almost one year to the day that I'd meet Roger, and when I laid eyes on him for the first time, I knew I had finally found him. I recognized him almost immediately. And the next chapter of my life would begin.

I am learning all sorts of ways to love myself. I am learning that, like a muscle, I need to keep strengthening the bond I have with myself and I do it through the choices that I make.

Those choices become who I am and those choices become my life.

The same is true for all of us. Although we can't change what has happened in the past, we can certainly draw from it, learn from it and grow from it. We shape our present and in turn, create our future.

All through the decisions that we make.

I want to love my life.

I want you to love your life.

I want you to love your life one bite at a time.

P.S. I like Billy Idol. This experience didn't change my opinion of him in any way. In fact, if anything, it endeared me to him and I realize that what happened is just part of the business. As I said, he is just a man. We all use whatever we can to get what we want out of life, and so I don't hold any ill-will toward him. In fact, quite the opposite is true. I am grateful to him for creating the conditions where my morals could be tested. He helped show me who I really am. Thank you, Billy. Your music has withstood the test of time and I have no doubt you will rock the house at Bluesfest! 

P.P.S. Has something like this happened to you? Have your morals ever been tested in a way that left you feeling proud of yourself? Do you have a crazy story you would like to share? I would love to hear from you!

P.P.S.S In other news, I received the final proof of my book The 28 Day Kick The Sugar Challenge last week and it is ready to be released into the world!! I am so excited!! Stay tuned for how you can order your very own copy. I will be sharing details soon. Thank you to everyone who has been following this journey for your patience and support. It means the world to me! xo


  • Roger Deveau

    Reply Reply July 6, 2016


    The funny thing is that before we met, I sat down and did a similar exercise. Instead of the 100 things I want in a partner, I described all of the things that I wanted in my relationship. Not only do I now have those things, but I feel like you have added SO much more than I could have even imagined back then.

    Thank you for being in my life <3

    • Sarah Roberts

      Reply Reply July 6, 2016

      I love you so much, Roger. For being who I needed in my life when I needed you. For challenging me and changing me and for showing me who I really am even when I don’t want to see it. For loving me in a way I have never been loved before. I admire and respect you so much and I am humbled that you have chosen me to walk this path with. xo

      • Pamela

        Reply Reply September 14, 2020

        I’m Glad you did not Get in Bed with Billy IDOL I would not have sex with him happen to me twice I met 2 men one when I went to home depot he had w children seems Like he Just wanted 1 night stand Just to, have sex but I was on to him I was a idiot ,to ride in his car, he started touching my boobsvi stop him and did not see him Anymore.and the other man I did not sleep with but in Almost did.u found what a Evil man he was inside his heart and he, was not a Gentleman towards me.when I did not want to sleep with me he was a Little Abusive thg o me I Dumped his Ass.

    • Silvia

      Reply Reply October 1, 2019

      Perfect. Simply excellent…
      But probably what u experienced there , is part of show bussiness, while u are real & sincere!!
      Good for u, u did not fall into this fake world of fake emotions & feelings.

      • Sarah Roberts

        Reply Reply October 2, 2019

        Thank you for this, Silvia! It was certainly an experience that I learned a lot from. I appreciate your comments.
        Big hugs!

      • Silvia

        Reply Reply October 2, 2019

        I also wanted to add another thing: (forgive my english, it’ s not my first language): some people suffer some types of “bulimia”, it can refer to food or other things…unfortunately for them, the more they get the more they want, so u understood this…. before falling into this “trap” too …and of course this makes proud of u…somehow u put on a valid shield that protected u from that “get out” that would have come the same sooner or later,and that would have made u suffer in any case. In a few words it is better a ” get out” now rather than a ” get out” after a month, or a night or a week later.And never stop at the first shining star in the sky..but look deeply…..into the deep sky.

      • Kourtney

        Reply Reply October 1, 2020

        This was kind of sad and I don’t know if that was the intent. Who exactly was the red head and why can’t a handsome rich rock star pick out his own women or at least Mack on them properly? It reeks of being unconfident. I’m curious to know what you and Billy discussed at the bar. What did he do to make you believe he was disappointed that you don’t drink? The whole thing just reads kinda juvenile, and not on your part solely. I guess I just don’t understand why it feels like you enjoyed teasing him. It’s obvious you were attracted to him. Also how can you be sure he didn’t kiss you on the lips because he saves that for those he really likes? You wrote him basically as the complete opposite of what he portrays.

        • Sarah Roberts

          Reply Reply October 1, 2020

          Thank you for sharing your thoughts. And I totally understand them.
          The redhead was a “handler”. While he’s performing, he can’t be finding people to party with after the show. I’ve learned–from others that this has happened to–that it’s common procedure. The celebrity has people who do the work for him and assumedly, the girl will be up for having sex.

          As for him not being thrilled about me not drinking, it was just obvious it was a bummer I wasn’t going to be partying. Remember, we were all at a bar and his whole entourage was doing shots. I’m not sure if you’re sober or not, but being sober in a group of drinkers tends to be a “thing” even if nothing’s said explicitly.
          The whole thing WAS juvenile. Absolutely. And here’s the truth. I was a 30-something single woman and it WAS exciting to be with a famous person. And I knew about the kissing because a woman knows those things.
          Listen, I enjoyed the experience. It was exciting! It was exhilarating! It was scary at times and it was an experience I decided to end before it went somewhere I wasn’t comfortable with it going. And I know that makes some people see me as a “cocktease” or a “whore” or whatever, but it was an experience in my life where I could clearly SEE life delivering an experience to me where I got to choose one road or another. Sleeping with Billy Idol would have been a mistake for ME. I don’t know what others would have done in that moment, but for ME, I didn’t want it to go any further. And I get a little tired of explaining that a woman is allowed to do with her body what she chooses at ANY point along the way.
          As for how I portrayed him, I think a lot of people come off different on stage than in real life.

          I hope this helps at all. I wish nothing but the best for Billy and don’t hold any ill will towards him. He showed me how much I respect myself and my body. And for that, I’ll be forever grateful.

          • Kourtney

            October 27, 2020

            Hi Sarah, I appreciate the reply and I respect where you are coming from. I guess I just find it sad that someone that age still needs to find people to party with after a show. It’s like, go home dude, find a wife, and be normal. The wanting someone to have a drink, who has made it clear multiple times they don’t drink, is especially disturbing. I personally wouldn’t have sex with anyone who wouldn’t kiss me, OR had the audacity to neck kiss me our first meeting. Maybe that works because he’s still so good looking.
            The redhead and the bodyguard are also an issue. Hopefully he’s settled down and can at least find his own sex partners today.

          • Sarah Roberts

            October 27, 2020

            Thanks, Kourtney. I think it’s pretty standard “practice” in the music/entertainment industry to have “handlers” find people for celebrities to party with, so who knows how life will play out for him in the long run, but the entire experience really made me realize that while so many of us dream of “celebrity life”, it isn’t always what it’s made out to be.
            At the end of the day, the experience taught me so much about myself. And I think that’s what life is all about…learning the lessons from the experiences that come in. “Earth school” as they say.

        • Kourtney

          Reply Reply February 11, 2021

          I’m sorry for replying months later but I shared the story with a friend of mine and we both agree that the most disturbing part is how he basically decided that he wasn’t going to work any harder to find anyone else, even after you said it’s not happening,so he and his crew basically conspired to coerce. I mean you all but kicked and screamed upon being thrust into the room. I’m sure your energy told that you didn’t want to be there to screw. Not cool. I like Idol, but this is low. I get that he doesn’t have to work for women but seems like they’re beating down his door, why so hell bent on being lazy? Wonder if he remembers this. Seems very creepish. The part about him saying he’s not close to his kids is telling as well. Guess it’s a price for never laying down roots.

  • Jennifer

    Reply Reply July 11, 2016

    What exactly is the point of this post? Just to get it out into the ether? Its because of people like you that celebrities have to be so completely guarded. That you feel the need to recount every minutia of the evening for you blog… it just reeks of attention seeking. You didn’t sleep with a rock star – SO WHAT????!!!! Is there something cathartic you’re searching for in recounting an uneventful evening from so many years ago?

    • Sarah Roberts

      Reply Reply July 11, 2016

      I’m sorry you are so angry. The point of my post is to show people that we can have self-respect. I shared so that people can know that they have the power to say no and to stay true to themselves. While I was drinking, this story would have ended very differently, and I wanted to share that truth with others. It took me 8 years to share this story because of the self-hatred I carried. I only started sharing my truth in recent years as a way to open myself up to people and release the shame I felt for so long as an alcoholic. I realize this also means opening myself up to people who won’t understand my motives, and that’s ok. You are entitled to your opinion of me. I hope that answered your question?

      • Jennifer

        Reply Reply July 11, 2016

        I’m not at all angry; far from it. It’s your journey. I just wonder at the necessity of writing such a detailed account of your night with Billy Idol. It strikes me as shamelessly self-promoting and insincere. The obtuse ruse you’re attempting to portray while throwing people under the bus is annoying and completely unnecessary. Again, it’s your journey and I’m a peace promoting person. Which is probably why I even responded.

        • Sarah Roberts

          Reply Reply July 11, 2016

          My blog is a place to share the stories that have informed my journey, and this was a poignant one that I also thought people would enjoy reading for its message.
          I don’t see this post as “throwing people under the bus” in any way. In fact, I openly thank Billy for creating the conditions that allowed me to be who I really am.
          I am sorry you see me as insincere. I am working hard to show up in my life and my ultimate goal is to help others know that they are not alone on this journey.

          But I respect the fact that you have the right to your opinion.

        • rogermain

          Reply Reply July 11, 2016

          Yes Jennifer, you are clearly a peace promoting person. You’re right. How dare Sarah share her story of a celebrity objectifying women! And all just to show people that no matter who you are, what your situation is, or what you have done, that you can build yourself to a place of true self love and self respect.

          If you go read any of Sarah’s posts, you will very quickly see what her motives are. You will also see that very often, she is throwing herself under the bus to help people understand that they are not alone.

          I have known Sarah for almost 7 years now, and I have never in my life met anyone who wants to help others through their struggles more than her. She is the kind of girl that cries when she reads that someone is hurting or struggling. She is the kind of girl will share her deepest, darkest secret if she thought that she can make someone feel better in doing so.

          If you only saw the messages that people send her almost daily, thanking her for sharing her stories because it helped them realize that they aren’t alone in their struggles, you would worry less about the ‘poor’ celebrity and understand that what Sarah does is needed beyond belief.

  • Jennifer

    Reply Reply July 11, 2016

    Peace. This wasn’t about attacking you. Our perspectives are just very different.

    • Jennifer

      Reply Reply July 11, 2016

      Rodger, this in no way involved a dialog with you. I appreciate your need to stand up for your Sarah, but I’m pretty sure she’s capable of fighting her own battles. If she’s willing to share stories such as this one, she’s should be willing to take the negative responses that they will sometimes elicit.

  • Samantha

    Reply Reply July 11, 2016

    I’m sorry but I have to agree with Jennifer on this , what was your ultimate goal here ?? To say I was able to tease Billy Idol ? To show the entire world what happens on the road when these men are away from their families ? . Honestly it’s a known fact that with Rock comes sex with beautiful women … But the main issue here is that these people have real lives too , they have families who can access this stuff online . Maybe next time think before you post something like this online for the entire world to see .

    • Sarah Roberts

      Reply Reply July 11, 2016

      Hi Samantha. I appreciate your comments. The fact is, I wanted people to read this post. That was the point of putting it online. I kept this to myself for 8 years, and only now am I beginning to share my life with others. The ultimate goal was to share a piece of myself and let people inside my life using a compelling story. If you have seen any of my past posts, you will know I am a recovering alcoholic. I shared this as a way to demonstrate how much my life has changed; how much I have changed, as a result of getting sober. I wanted the story to be an example of what can happen when we, as women, stand up for ourselves and make choices that we can feel proud of. I would never say I teased Billy, because that is not the truth. I didn’t. And I agree, rock and sex go hand in hand, so considering this is common knowledge, I am sure anyone Billy knows also know this. I am not expecting you to agree with me putting it “out there”, but hopefully this explains it a bit more.

    • Sarah Roberts

      Reply Reply July 12, 2016

      Thank you, Jennifer. I am learning that not everyone will agree with my decisions or understand my motives, and that is ok! You are entitled to your opinion and I respect that immensely. Take care.

      • john

        Reply Reply February 27, 2020

        What a stupid lump of human excrement Sarah Roberts is,
        obviously she’s a complete narcissistic self obsessed moron to even think that Billy Idol would even be bothered with her worn out”Love Tunnel”because its obvious she has been around the Block more times than an new york Taxi.
        As for her Male mate on here worshipping to her well used vagina and ego,she has you firmly in the friend department,
        so don’t even think it and you look like a fag.

        • Sarah Roberts

          Reply Reply February 27, 2020

          Thank you for your comment, John! It gave me a LOT of food for thought.

        • Roger Deveau

          Reply Reply February 27, 2020

          This comment feels like it was made by an angry kid in the 90’s. Time to grow up. 🙂

    • Pink

      Reply Reply July 12, 2016

      Samantha,if they have families then they should care about them enough not to do this stuff.Luckily Billy is single and his kids are adults so they can handle this.I mean he wrote about his sex life in his book so his kids know about it.Clearly you live in a fantasy world thinking his family does not know what he does on tour but most of his fans ( me included) knows that he is really like this.Sarah, me and most of his other female fans are glad you shared your story and are not surprised or upset because you were nice about him.In fact they even posted this story on the fan pg.Honestly ,( I hope this does not sound bad) but I am still a fan of his because I like his music and he has never lied and pretended to be a good guy and had always been open about his sex life.So it does not surprise most of his fans that he tried this.It does however surprise us that there is someone who actually turned him down,but I bet that made him more attracted to you.Good luck with your book.

      • Sarah Roberts

        Reply Reply July 12, 2016

        Thank you for your comments. I am actually a bigger fan of his music after my experience with him, so I totally get your feelings. Like I said, he is “just a man”, and I have no ill will towards him. I totally agree that he never pretended to be anything he wasn’t. While I needed to stay true to myself that night, he also stayed true to himself. Thank you for the good wishes on my book. I appreciate that very much! Also, what fan page did someone post it on? I would be curious to see it there. Thank you!

  • Monica

    Reply Reply September 13, 2017

    Since you are screening comments so you can feel more validated and promote yourself as some type of hero, which you aren’t, I presented your story on my own website and how you actually look:
    You aren’t getting too nice of a response where you can’t pick and choose what comments people see, so keep in mind if any of this is true, all you did was make Billy Idol look good and made yourself look like an utter twat.

    • Tracy

      Reply Reply October 27, 2017

      You ever try pounding sand for a living? You should consider.

  • Th'kaal

    Reply Reply September 13, 2017

    So, you do all the behavior groupies do to have sex with their idol and then you get upset when you get what you want and deny him what he wanted. Fine, you didn’t want sex. But you met Billy Idol. Fine. But it was obvious from the start that he wanted to have sex with you and you knew it. So….yeah. This is either fake or you’re unable to take responsibility for your actions of manipulation.

  • Tracy

    Reply Reply October 27, 2017

    Sarah, thank you. It took balls to come in here and write your story. Trolls are gonna troll and “try” and belittle you. I’m glad you called it on the carpet, for what it truly is. Did any of you trolls stop and think that some of us would have hung out with Billy for the connection instead of the sex? Some of us left on this planet still have souls and aren’t out solely to feed our egos. You know what happens to people like Billy? They end up completely alone at the pearly gates. Alone. All because they could never get enough. Never would any one woman satisfy him. He tried to fill the hole deep down inside of him but sadly, he never had an awakening. Anyhow, it’s good to hear the other side of his so called “glamorous” life. Ain’t so glam when your skin is rotting off your face from the drugs and the young broads you could once land aren’t even remotely interested in your pathetic ass!

    • Sarah Roberts

      Reply Reply October 28, 2017

      Thanks for your comments, Tracy. I am reminded, whenever people “hate” something I’ve said or done that it says more about them than me. I am just sharing my journey, and I am glad my stories resonate with the ones who matter. xo

  • Claudia Barrett

    Reply Reply February 5, 2018

    Well after reading this amazing freakin story of self worth vs Billy Idol, I am convinced that with recovery, we are able to forge a higher meaning out of the events of our lives. We become in charge of our narratives. Xx

    • Sarah Roberts

      Reply Reply February 5, 2018

      That’s it! That’s sooooo itttt. Forging meaning out of ALL of it. So happy to know you. xo

  • Celeste Hardy

    Reply Reply April 12, 2021

    Wow I’ve been a big fan of billy idol for years, it would of been funny to watch his disgruntled reaction. I suppose he expected you to sleep with him. And the trolls think you dragged it on but it would’ve been hard to say no. I’m not the same person anymore myself nor would I be pulled from a crowd to meet him so I can just imagine how sick and exhilarating the experience would have been. These days these men seem a bit living in the past. I suppose he has settled down with China chow now

  • Mariah

    Reply Reply May 22, 2021

    Hi Sarah!
    What opportunity of a lifetime was the redhead talking about? Ummmm. Thousands of women have experienced him, just saying.
    How did you know that Billy was a little put off by you not ordering a drink at a bar? Wth is he doing in a bar anyway? I thought he was a recovering addict. Kind of sad. Sounds like a man who never grew up. I just find the whole thing creepy. BFI is quiet pretty much today and I bet it’s because he knows he could get “Me Too’d” at any time. Did not like the tone of this. It’s sexual coercion and I’m a fan but it is what it is…and the staff is complicit in it. Why does a handsome rockstar need this much help getting laid? There are tons of girls at his shows that make it known they are down for that random stuff.
    Did you find him to be a very dark person overall? I found it rude that he would cast a woman out on her own at 3am because he didn’t get any sex. He has a daughter and a grand daughter. I find it despicable.

    • Sarah Roberts

      Reply Reply May 23, 2021

      Hi Mariah,
      I agree… it didn’t feel like an “opportunity” to me. It might have at another time in my life, but not then.
      How did I know he was put off with me not drinking? It just feels obvious when you are with people who drink and are wanting to party. It’s a feeling and an observation. Yes, it was all kind of sad and strange… and also exciting. Yes, I could say I found him to be dark, but probably more sad. Lonely. Now that he is in a relationship with China Chow, I hope he’s able to really thrive.
      Thank you for your comments and for being here!

      • Mariah

        Reply Reply May 25, 2021

        Sarah I’ve just got to say I admire you. You have such grace because there is no way in hell I’d wish someone well who cast me out into the night because they didn’t get what they want. That is really horrific when you break down the dynamics of it. He’s lucky you’re who you are and not vindictive.
        Good luck China Chow. She will need it.
        If the time frame adds up, he actually had a girlfriend when he pulled this stunt on you.

        • Sarah Roberts

          Reply Reply May 25, 2021

          Thank you for the kind words, but truly, I believe he came into my life at that exact moment to show me how much I’d grown. I believe that’s how life works; it delivers experiences to us that allow us to practice what we’ve learned and to see how far we’ve grown (and how far we have left to go). That experience was a gift, and I have compassion for people. None of us are perfect. We are all struggling, and for celebrities, so much of their worth can be tied to their image, so in many ways, this behavior is simply what’s expected of them. As for him having a girlfriend at the time, I am not sure. As for wishing him well, I absolutely do. I am grateful for his music and for the ability to stretch and grow through the experience I had with him.
          And I have no regrets.
          This is something I wouldn’t have been able to say had I slept with him.

          • Mariah

            July 2, 2021

            Oh wow Sarah had no idea you responded again… and thank you.
            What was Billy like when you guys were at the bar? You mentioned you went back to talking with him after the red head gave her pathetic spiel. I think you captured the awkwardness of him or the situation in general perfectly btw. I don’t know what’s more pathetic. A grown man needing a crew to cajole and coerce potential sex partners or the fact that there literally was passive aggressive peer pressure put on you to drink. I still think the way you wrote this with not an ounce of maliciousness took pure skill.

  • R.S.

    Reply Reply October 8, 2021

    Thank you, Sarah, for sharing a hair raising story of your experience with Billy Idol. I think you did a great service to teach naive people what it really looks like behind the scenes in the music (any business really)scenes. I do not understand why it made some people angry/annoyed/pessimistic – you clearly explained already of how after a lifestyle that you stopped doing in order to feel balanced – setting boundaries took serious thinking & acting. That is no easy feat, especially with famous people, which they often take advantage/abuse, therefore this is a great milestone in your personal life. It’s a GREAT story – whoever couldn’t get the moral has to re-read your story many times over. Sometimes though some people are too defensive psychologically and just keep missing the obvious point. Thank you for sharing and I love your constant efforts to stay brutally honest, admitting errors and not apologizing for being human in your replies with some comments from others. My question to them is: Can you tell me a human being who has NEVER made a mistake in their life? No,no such thing- I never met one. With gratitude and pride.

    • Sarah Roberts

      Reply Reply October 8, 2021

      Hi R.S.

      Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments. I appreciate your words very much. To be honest, whenever I receive a notification that someone has commented on this post, my initial reaction is dread. Fear that yet another human has misinterpreted my purpose for sharing this story or the impact the experience had on me, and so I find myself clicking on the comment while taking a deep breath in. In fact, I often don’t even read them until I am in a headspace where I can allow another’s opinion the space in my mind.

      I am so glad I read yours. You understand exactly why I shared and your understand the impact the experience had on my life and my recovery journey.

      So, thank you. For being a fellow human traveler who knows that we don’t get through this life in a linear fashion, rather we fumble our way to the left and right, top and bottom, in and out of alignment, using the experiences of our lives to course correct, course correct, course correct until we get where we’ve always been trying to go.
      To ourselves.

      That last question is everything…

      With love and gratitude,

  • Valentina

    Reply Reply December 7, 2022

    Hi Sarah! I don’t know how I”m this late to the party, being that it’s 2022 and you wrote this in I”m sorry if my comment is triggering and something you’ve long put behind you.
    Anyway, I am floored, disgusted, and honestly sick about what you’ve described. I don’t know what’s more revolting..the fact that honestly, his “security” basically pushing you into a suite with a stranger sounds honestly a little rapey…or that BFI is/was so lame that he can’t wrangle up his own feminine company for the evening. I”ve heard of wing men and I know he’s a celebrity and they have “people for that” but still… I’m highly disturbed. He sounds like a dark man. I”m wondering about the psychology of his image… The fun, crazy man, at least in the past, masquerading an obviously dark nature. At that time his children weren’t close to him so that may say something about what he valued in life at that particular time and how he lived his life. I always got the feeling the book was hog wash and he’s much more dark than even it shows. Your account validates that for me…but I digress. I wonder how he views *this* Billy, as opposed to the 67 year old grandfather he is today..and how would he feel when/if his daughter and now granddaughters met a “Billy”..When you think about it, his own daughter at that point was a teenager. I think he’s a very selfish man, or I”ll say WAS.
    Kind of scary when you think about it. He threw you out into the darkness without a care when you didn’t give him what he wanted. Also didn’t like how you weren’t good enough for him to kiss..yet he and his team acted like you were the last woman on Earth and basically strong armed you to stay. Not cool! This guy is very lucky he hasn’t been “me too’d” yet being that it’s obvious he’s been getting whatever he wants from women for decades, and when/if he doesn’t, you might get thrown out.
    Take care!

    • Sarah Roberts

      Reply Reply December 7, 2022

      Hi Valentina… I always get a knot in my stomach when I see I have a notification for this blog. I’ve received the most hate on this post, for sure, and so I appreciate your support! It was indeed quite a long time ago now, and I still hold zero ill will towards him; he taught me a very valuable lesson and I needed the experience to show me how much I’d grown.

      While I haven’t read his book or really kept up with him at all (I really have never been a “fan”), I do have a lot of compassion for him. There is certainly a “darkness” about him that I felt, but it resonated as sadness to me. But who knows? I am just glad I escaped the experience with a powerful life-lesson and not regret.
      Thanks for being here! Wishing you well. xo

  • Grace

    Reply Reply August 5, 2023

    Oh wow…surprises me,I didn’t know that’s how they work? Well what year did this happened? Cause i think he is now in a happy relationship. I applaud you! Morals and self love before anything.

    • Sarah Roberts

      Reply Reply August 6, 2023

      Thank you. Yes…. self love before anything. 🙂 It was 15 years ago now. I am happy he is in a happy relationship and wish him no ill will. He was a teacher on my path of life!

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