My Body Shame.

Last week on Instagram and Facebook, I posted a picture of myself in a super cute dress, baring my legs. While this may seem like no big deal on the surface, it was a defining moment for me. You see, I’ve never talked about it publicly, but I’ve been covering my legs for yearrrrs. Sure, I wear skirts. But they go to the knee, or longer. Sure I wear “shorts” but if I’m being honest, they are really capris. When I had to wear shorts as part of a uniform back in my early twenties, I wore panty hose underneath them.

In summer.

UGH.

And while, yes, I have worn some shorter shorts over the years, I have never felt comfortable. I’ve never felt free. You see, I internalized comments I heard growing up about my legs looking like “tree trunks” and not having the “right” shape. I believed there was something wrong with my body and so I covered it up, hid it, felt shame around it.

Since embarking on healing my relationship with my body, improving my body image, and doing the work to change the tape my inner critic likes to play on a loop in my mind, I’ve begun baring my legs more than I ever have. I’m a work in progress, so it’s happened slowly, and after far too many years of believing I needed a “perfect” body–especially as someone working in the wellness space–I am realizing the most powerful truth yet:

I have one.

As I shared in my post, I believe moving to this part of the world (Vancouver Island), where so many people are baring all sorts of body parts, I’ve been able to peel away some more layers around my body image. I remember being on the beach one night a few months ago and watching a group of women who looked so….free. Like, they didn’t seem to be concerned in the least about their “imperfections” (based on society’s unattainable standards) and it hit me that I could choose how I wanted to feel about my body. I could choose to stay stuck in my critical, shame-based mind or I could choose to truly revere my body for the incredible vessel that it is, carrying me through this world and allowing me to live my life, fulfill my dreams, do my work.

Since posting that pic, I’ve received several private messages (all from women), sharing some of their feelings about my post. They all center around the same sentiment: “Sarah, you’re SKINNY. If you are complaining about your body, then how the hell am I supposed to feel about mine?”

And while I totally understand what these women are bravely sharing with me, here is what’s important to understand about body image: it’s personal.

It’s not about you and the way you feel about your body. It’s about me and the way I feel about mine.

We live in a highly judgmental and critical world. We spend our time comparing, judging and criticizing and so while I get what these women shared, I want them to do the same as I did: STOP.

Stop caring so much what other people think.

Stop comparing themselves so much to others.

Stop judging so harshly when the world is harsh enough already.

Stop criticizing every little “imperfection” as if it’s the most important thing.

What if we all stopped worrying so much what other people think of us and spent more time thinking about how WE feel about ourselves? And if we find ourselves criticizing every little “imperfection”, then maybe it’s time to do some deeper, soul level work in order to shift our priorities and focus on what really matters.

What if we spent all that mental energy working on ourselves, developing ourselves, growing personally, emotionally and spiritually so that we learned to genuinely feel good about ourselves? What if we spent all that time seeking to uncover our unique gifts and finding ways to use them in the world in order to better serve others?

What if we realized that the shape of our legs or the size of our breasts or the look of our [insert body part here] is the least interesting thing about ourselves? 

What if we viewed our bodies as vessels that carry us through the world and that it was entirely up to us how we choose to show up for them? What if we could decide to be the change we wanted to see in our lives? What if we could realize that it’s a relationship we are cultivating with our bodies?

Until I made this mental switch–to see the experience I had with my body as a relationship–I struggled to connect fully with it, and I made choices that hurt me and took me farther away from the life I knew I wanted.

The life I knew I deserved.

While I’m a work in progress, I’m passionate about sharing what I’ve learned, and I want to help others know that they are not alone if they, too, struggle. I am glad you are here and if you’d like to go deeper with me, I teach a 12 week program called One Bite At A Time (OBAAT) where we go DEEP to explore issues around food, sugar, addiction, body image, and reconnecting with ourselves. It’s become my flagship program and the feedback I receive is overwhelmingly positive. Here are some of the reasons my students join me. If something resonates, then I invite you to learn more to see if you, too, might want to embark on the journey by heading to my website, OBAATCoaching.com.

*They’ve tried every diet and nothing ever seems to stick long-term
*They feel like food is not *really* the problem, but they don’t know how to find out what is
*They feel overwhelmed in my life where food, body image, and “health” are concerned
*They secretly worry about their health long-term
*They worry they will suffer the same fate as their parent(s) and want a plan to change their health future
*They have been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes and want to learn how to cut back on sugar
*They have struggled with low self image for as long as they can remember
*They’ve swapped an addiction to drugs or alcohol with sugar
*They are sick and tired of feeling sick and tired
*They are afraid of aging because of the current status of their health
*They are “feeling” their age
*They *know* what to do; they just don’t do it. i.e. they believe they have a motivation/willpower problem
*They are sick of diets
*They are sick of eating
*They are sick of restricting
*They are sick of the mixed messages
*They have stopped trusting their body

This is the stuff I help people with. I’m not a nutritionist or dietitian, rather I’m a woman who got sober 18 years ago and started using sugar and junk food the way I’d used alcohol…as a way to soothe my emotions and numb out. I went on a wellness journey that’s led me to countless books, programs and courses and allowed me to work with various therapists, coaches and experts who’ve helped me create a truly holistic recovery model for myself.

In my 12 week program, I’ve culled the “best of the best” of what I’ve learned and I’d love to share it all with you, if you feel called. This program is not limited to people in recovery from alcohol or drugs. It is for anyone wanting to deal with food issues and their emotional underpinnings. This program is not a diet nor does it include strict meal plans. That said, I do provide my Recipe Guide with over 90 tested recipes, but each student chooses their own meals.

No matter what, if you, too, struggle with body image, then I hope you’ll leave yourself enough grace to remove the pressure around perfection and allow yourself to just….BE.

Breathe in the truth that there is nothing inherently wrong with you and so much right! We need all of us unshackled by the systems that keep us down so that we can all shine our lights to be fully, wholly, unapologetically, who we really are.

It is important to me to create inclusive spaces wherever I lead, so my programs are open to womxn, men, BBIPOC and everyone who identifies as a human being struggling to love themselves to good (mental, emotional, physical and spiritual) health.

Because I want you to love your life one bite at a time.

P.S. Registration is now open for my fall program. We start September 8th and go to November 24th, 2020. If you’d like to learn more about working with me, head over to OBAATCoaching.com, and if you like what you see, we can schedule a call to chat.

P.P.S. Once you join me ONE TIME, you get lifetime access to ALL future rounds of coaching. FOR FREE. Some of my students have been with me since the very first round as a way to go deeper, learn more, connect with others and continue to stay on the path. I love that.

P.P.P.S. If you’d like to get a sense of me and my work around food and sugar and body image, I did a live training called:The Truth About Sugar and How To Live A Life Of Freedom Around Food.” I’d love for you to check it out to see if you resonate with my style & energy. 🙂 

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