Spring is an amazing time of year for detoxing. We Spring clean our homes, our cars, and for many of us, it is a great time to clean out the fridge and pantry and work towards better health. I encourage you, this Spring, to rid yourself of toxic food that isn’t serving you. If there is something you eat or drink that you know hurts your health and makes you feel drained of energy, bloated, sick, sad or out of control, try removing it from your diet, even just for a time, and see how you feel. I promise your body–and your brain–will thank you. If you want to join me on a 6 Week Sugar Freedom adventure, click here to get started.
Spring is also a great time to clean out our relationships.
Recently, I noticed I hadn’t been seeing a Facebook friend’s posts. I had known this person for several years and even had a personal connection to them. We had met several times. We had connected socially. They had often asked my advice and confided in me, usually through Facebook messenger or text. I had supported them through some difficult times. We weren’t overly close, but I knew they had a good heart and came from a good place.
So after not hearing from them in a while, I went on Facebook and typed in their name. When I got to their wall, I was shocked to find that they had unfriended me.
THEY unfriended ME?!
I had never once asked for anything of this person. Never once been anything but supportive and kind. I was shocked! My mouth literally dropped open and I mouthed the word, “Wow….”
Shock turned into hurt. “Why did they do this?”
Hurt turned into anger. “Well, screw them anyway!”
Anger turned into relief. “They drained me of energy. This is for the best. It is not a bad thing. It is ok. All is well.”
Relief turned into self-reflection. “What can I learn from this?”
I sat quietly and thought about this person for a while. I looked back on the trajectory of our relationship and the number of times they had judged me or commented negatively (I saw them asserting themselves and sharing their opinion, which I respected, even if their judgments stung at the time), but I realized that this person was not really a friend. Not my definition, anyway. I had never leaned on them. I had never asked them for help or guidance. They hadn’t supported me in ways that friends do.
I had to admit that this person was never my friend. Not really. So why would we be Facebook friends? I respected their decision to unfriend me. They obviously felt we weren’t friends, either.
I am proud of them for leaving behind what we had shared. It was time to let it go. And they did, which released me, too.
As we enter into Spring and the world bursts alive with a renewed sense of optimism, so am I renewed by the knowledge that not everything is for us.
We are not for everyone.
Not everyone is for us.
Can we learn something from everyone we encounter? Yes.
But do we need to spend our time and our energy with people who do not support us and lift us up and push us and challenge us and like us? No.
I realized that this relationship had been so incredibly one-sided that I felt drained after each exchange. I am sure I could have done more to ask for what I needed, but I realize that this person was not the one I wanted to fulfil that role in my life; I have others who do such a beautiful job of lifting me up and being there for me, enjoying a mutually beneficial relationship, and I didn’t feel that connection to this person.
My time is valuable. My energy is limited. I must care for myself before caring for others, and I only have so much bandwidth.
If you are here, then we are each other's people.
I am humbled and honured to have you with me, supporting me, encouraging me and loving me. Please know that your presence in my life is powerful and energy-giving. I truly hope you feel the same from me. Please let me know in the comments if I can do something to strengthen our relationship or support you better.
This experience has served me profoundly. It has allowed me to truly create space for those who want to support me while I get to do the same.
Let this Spring be YOUR chance to clear out the negative. Detoxify your environment, your fridge, your pantry and get rid of old relationships that don't serve you. Unfriend people on Facebook who drain you of energy. Don't worry whether they might feel hurt. Believe me, you will be doing them, and you, a favour.
Because I want you to love your life one bite at a time.
P.S. Here is a great article written by Dr. Karuna Sabnani on detoxing negative people from our lives. She offers actionable tips that will help you make positive changes today.
P.P.S. Speaking of Spring, it is the perfect time to put yourself first and do something that makes you feel amazing! Join me for the 6 Week Sugar Freedom eCourse where I will help you create a lifestyle you absolutely LOVE. Class started yesterday, but it is NOT too late to register. Head over to SugarFreeCourse.com and let's get started...together. NO diets. NO Challenges. NO false promises. Just REAL tools and strategies that will guide you towards your best life and your best self. xo
P.P.P.S. If you live in the Ottawa, Canada area, please mark your calendar for The Healthy Brain and Body Show coming to The EY Centre April 22 & 23, 2017. It is going to be an amazing weekend filled with fun, pampering, exploring, learning and shopping!! It's on Earth Day Weekend, so please bring your reusable shopping bags (you will want to bring a few!) and your reusable water bottle as we have hired Aqua Haulics to supply you with unlimited fresh, filtered water for the weekend!