Let GO.

For over a decade, I was a nightly drinker who embarrassed myself regularly, went to work hungover daily, and made mistakes more often than I could count.

But after finally letting go of the life I knew and surrendering to the knowledge that alcohol could no longer occupy space in my life, I started on my path to recovery. When I’m inside my life and living it day-to-day, it’s hard for me to notice the tremendous growth I’ve experienced in those years; it takes looking back to get a better perspective.

Almost every single aspect of my life changed when I got sober. Everything got a complete overhaul, from my physical appearance to my career path, to my interests, my friends, my connection to God/Universe/Source, family relationships and so much more. But–as a drinker–if you had shown me a picture of the life I live now, I would have never believed that it would be mine. It’s been a complete transformation, and yet, in those last days of drinking and into those early days of sobriety, I couldn’t imagine anything different from the way I had been living. And I most definitely couldn’t have imagined my life without alcohol.

Ever.

And yet, I not only quit drinking, but I found my life–and myself–in sobriety.

People sometimes ask me if I regret hitting what became my rock bottom–a shameful and traumatic experience that started me on an entirely new course–and I respond, “Absolutely not.” Because I believe that addiction has been my greatest blessing; recovery my greatest teacher. Without the dark, we can’t know the light; without the pain, we don’t get the rising; without the yin, there is no yang.

And I believe that there are times where we need to let go of the things that are no longer serving us; creating space for more positive things to come into our lives, so that we don’t live with regrets or resentments or a sense of lack.

So, no matter what you are going through, I want to share that if you aren’t happy with the way things are, you don’t have to live like this.

You can change if you want to.

You can stop doing that thing you know isn’t serving you.

You can start doing that thing you dream about doing.

You can stop doing that thing you hate.

You can change that thing you keep complaining about.

Your life doesn’t have to look the way your family or your friends or society tells you it should.

You can make a whole new one that looks nothing like the last; one that fits you perfectly—like the little black dress that takes you into any situation or those perfectly worn-in jeans that make your butt look great.

I want to tell you that it can all change.

Starting NOW.

Now, don’t think I’m suggesting that you need to create some kind of rock bottom–or wait for one–in order to have this kind of transformation in your life. Not at all. People with perfectly good lives throw all–or part–of them away so that better things can come in. They make life choices that steer them closer to where they know–deep down–they need to go in order to feel genuinely fulfilled in their lives (think the corner office CEOs who become coffee baristas; the successful comedians who risk it all for social change; the doctors who trade in their stethoscopes for rollerblades).

So, in case you need the reminder, I want to give you permission to take control of your life choices.

Because you are not stuck.

As much as it may feel that way at times, it is the BIG lie.

Let me repeat it so it may sink in: YOU ARE NOT STUCK.

You do NOT have to forego your own needs for the needs of others.

You do NOT have to do that thing that you do not want to do.

You do NOT have to say YES when you want to say NO.

And you do NOT have to say NO when you want to say YES.

This is YOUR life. And you ONLY get ONE.

I don’t believe we think about that enough; that we are here for such a brief moment in time and that once our time is up, we never, ever get the chance to do this life over again.

Not ever.

We all deserve to live in a way that allows us to shine bright! God (or universe or source or ALL or whatever you call it) does not want us to live a half-life. It wants us to live as fully and vibrantly as we possibly can. Living fully and vibrantly gets rewarded, not punished. Remember that; you are rewarded—not judged (by anyone that matters, anyway)–for expressing yourself to your fullest potential.

And while this can feel scary, nothing scares me more than dying with dreams inside of me; especially the ones that will make me truly come to life. We get scared to change because doing so requires us to come up with a new plan for our lives. It requires us to stop complaining and start changing, if we actually want to live the life of our dreams.

It requires us to get quiet with ourselves for a time and to dust off the notebook as we write out our heart’s deepest desires. And then, it requires us to begin the work; the work of doing and also un-doing, so that each day, we can get closer to being who we really want to be, feeling ways we really want to feel.

“Ok, this all sounds great–to just CHANGE everything and live the life of our dreams–but what about everything we’ve built up in our lives already? What about all of the time and effort we’ve put in? What about the entrapments–good and bad–of our lives that we have created already? Do we just tear everything down and start all over?”

Not necessarily.

But maybe.

We can start slow.

But unless and until we know what we truly want in our lives, the universe will have no idea how to help us get it. And, we will have no idea if we’ve already achieved it.

So, I encourage you to spend some time this summer thinking about what really turns you on; things you’d love to DO, places you’d like to GO, ways you’d like to FEEL, people you’d like to MEET, things you’d like to HAVE. Be LIMITLESS here! Go crazy and write it alllll down (in fact, the crazier, the better)!

You see, we can find ourselves pointing to someone else’s life and wishing we could have what they have. And–frankly–this is a huge waste of time UNLESS we are ready to uncover what we truly want. Because we rarely want someone else’s life; we just want to feel our best in our own.

Getting clear about what we want takes getting real about who we are, what we value, where we are now, and where we want to go. And then it takes making plans to get ourselves closer–over time.

I encourage you to remember how special and unique you are, and that if you truly aren’t where you want to be in your life, that it’s ok. Because we are always, always allowed to change–no matter how stuck we feel. We do not have to believe the lie that society tells us.

Because it’s simply NOT TRUE.

You are NOT stuck, and you deserve to create the life of your dreams. The key is in remembering that we have to create–not wait–for our ideal lives to materialize. It takes a plan and it takes effort; no amount of wishing brings us what we want.

We have to make it happen.

Might it mean changing our lifestyle? YES!

Might it mean changing our environment? YES!

Might it mean ending relationships that aren’t serving us? YES!

Might it mean walking away from things that look good in the pursuit of what we know could be great? YES!

Might it mean letting go of the very things that are holding the whole thing together? YES!

But we can do hard things.

Change isn’t easy, but it IS possible.

And if we want to live the life of our dreams, then we have to first choose it. And then we have to do the work. A dream is just a wish without a goal. And I want you to do the work; the work of becoming who you really are through exhibiting the truest expression of yourself by the way you live your life. 

Because you’re worth it.

And because I want you to love your life one bite at a time.

P.S. I have found that developing a meditation practice has helped me to carve out a life path that feels more authentic to me. It’s also an act of self-care. If meditation isn’t yet a practice for you, I suggest using an app like Insight Timer or Headspace to help guide you. Keep a notebook handy, as thoughts often come up during a meditation that you can jot down once you’re done.

Don’t get freaked out by meditation, worrying you aren’t doing it right! There is no wrong, and you can meditate anywhere, for any length of time. Simply get comfortable, take some deep breaths, close your eyes and focus on your breath. When thoughts come in (laundry, unfinished tasks, work, kids, shopping lists…) notice them and then let them go. They will be there when you are done; take this time for you.

P.P.S. Some people will read this and think that they are indeed stuck because they have received an unfavourable  diagnosis or learned of a sick family member or who are caretakers or who are dealing with a life-threatening illness themselves, or other issues that feel very much out of their control and require them to do things they wish they did not have to do. I understand this. But you are still not stuck. There are always, always things we can do to help ourselves get closer to living the life we want to be living. And since the only thing we have is the present moment, all we can do is the best thing for our lives in that moment. We can dream for the future while acting now–in the present moment. 

P.P.P.S. Living your best life requires that you practice radical self-care. Self-care is all about taking care of you the way a parent takes care of a child. You are your own precious, miraculous, perfect child. Treat yourself accordingly.

P.P.P.P.S. Do not isolate. We all need community, and I can guarantee that if you are going through something, then someone else has gone through it or at least can relate. We are not alone. We are never, ever alone. Please reach out to me if you need help finding resources for anything you feel stuck with in your life, and I will do my best to help you find them. I promise. 

P.P.P.P.P.S. If your list includes feeling better and prioritizing your health, then you might enjoy my 14 Days of Wellness. Simply enter your name and email address (over on the right). It’s free, with no diets, products, challenges or catches (you’ll just start getting a Tuesday email from me). I’d love to stay connected. xo