This past weekend, the city of Ottawa and surrounding areas were hit by two tornadoes. It was certainly a first in my lifetime to see that kind of destruction so close to home. Roger and I watched the storm from our balcony and witnessed the extreme rain and high winds, but fortunately, our building was kept safe. That said, much of the city was left without power for the entire weekend, including us. It was beautiful to see so many people come together to help their neighbours, and Roger and I met so many people (mostly in coffee shops, where we were all charging our devices!) with such great attitudes about it all. One woman we met said that she and her husband had the best night of their entire summer on Saturday night because they built a fire and enjoyed their roasted hot dogs cuddled up under the stars. I loved that.
In life, we are thrown curve balls. It’s part of the journey. None of us gets to be in control alll the time. But I believe that it’s less about what happens to us and more about how we deal with what happens that matters most.
This past weekend showed me how people can surrender and know that there is no point being angry or frustrated—it doesn’t help us at all to add our negative emotions to a natural disaster that couldn’t have been prevented (I mean, I am not going to get into a climate change debate here) and the point is, sometimes, sh#t just happens! What would be the benefit of freaking out or becoming overly upset? It doesn’t change what happened, and all it does is hurt us–individually and also collectively. Because we are intimately linked to one another and if you are having a bad day and you take it out on me, I can become affected if I’m not paying attention…and the ripple effect continues.
We live very close to the Rogers studio where I host my talk show, and their power was also down all weekend, resulting in having to cancel Sunday night’s show. Understandably, I was disappointed, as were my guests, but we remembered that in the midst of tough situations, there is always so much to be grateful for, and that we were all safe and sound.
We can re-schedule. We can adjust.
Not being able to do my show on Sunday got me thinking about a lesson I shared with my coaching students about resistance. I assigned Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art to those in the class who felt that procrastination, fear, and lack of willpower were at the root of their struggles with food, weight, body image, along with their happiness and success in life. During this particular lesson, I shared that I had been met with a TON of resistance when I was preparing to premiere REALTalk.
First up, a broken back molar. I was wrapping my niece and nephew’s back-to-school care packages when I grabbed a pen and put the cap end in my mouth as I was pondering what else to put into their packages…and POP! A large piece of my tooth broke off! I immediately called my dentist’s office and was rushed in…I needed a crown. So, I booked myself in for the 2 appointments and tried to get back to my work.
Then, Roger and I wanted to go for a bikeride (our way of blowing off steam while getting a little exercise into our day), but when we arrived at our locked bike room–helmets in hand–we found that our bikes had been stolen! We rushed to our superintendent’s office and were able to review camera footage and watched, hopelessly, as two young men casually wheeled out our bikes after breaking into our building. I filled out the report and got back to my work.
The next morning, as I hopped in my car to go and get my hair done, I noticed a strange feeling when I pulled out of the parking space. Lo and behold, I had a flat tire, creating a series of events from calling CAA to having a friend graciously fetch me so that I could make my appointment…and then get back to my work.
Then, even though I’d been disappointed to do it, I’d previously told my brother and family that we wouldn’t be able to do our annual labour day weekend visit, as I was too busy getting ready for the show. But on Friday afternoon of the labour day weekend, my brother called letting me know they needed to stay with us for a few nights as they had a mini emergency. “Of course!”, I said. “Yes, by all means”! and we were thrilled to have them with us, but it felt like another “thing” that was taking me away from my work, and I couldn’t help but wonder why this was all happening….like, was the universe trying to tell me something? Was my show not the right decision for me and my life right now?
It got me questioning whether or not I was to be doing something else. I mean, it’s not supposed to be this hard…is it?!
“Yes”, the voice answered. “These are merely tests.” Because, it turns out, it’s just LIFE! And we can all get into that kind of thinking…that if things are hard, then they aren’t meant for us. But as I learned from Pressfield, resistance wants nothing more than to keep us from our work. And if I let every little mishap or unexpected event derail me, REALTalk wouldn’t exist. I’d never have a show and I’d never be able to bring this creative endeavor into the world where I get to share it with you.
My process was to ask myself, after each hurdle, if it still felt right. And every single time I thought about my show and every single time I thought about how I felt about it, all I felt was excitement, joy and love. And I know that whenever I’m feeling excitement, joy, or love, that I am doing the right thing.
I am in the right place.
I am on the right track.
I reminded my students that doing that gut check is key. Because events are sometimes designed to push us in another direction. Like, for instance, that job we didn’t get because we were meant for the better one that came only weeks after. Or that relationship that ended or the date that turned us down and made us feel like we’d *never* find “the one” and then, seemingly out of nowhere, we met our ideal mate. Or that time we forgot an important document so we went back home to get it, making us a few minutes late for work, only to find an accident right along our route that we avoided…
These so-called “failures” are often guiding us away from events that aren’t in our best interest or else pushing us towards something that will help us grow. If only we could see them that way in the moment! In retrospect, it’s easy. We can clearly see how our choices have impacted our lives; but in the moment, it’s often not so easy…unless we raise our awareness around resistance.
So, I encourage you to read Pressfield’s book or to simply pay attention to the areas in your life where things feel…hard. Areas like eating well and exercising; journaling and meditating; housework and cleaning closets…all the things we may not want to do, but yet, after doing them, feel like accomplishments. And seemingly small accomplishments can push us towards more–and perhaps even bigger–accomplishments.
And when things come up that want to derail you from your work, check in with yourself and see if you are just crumbling under the weight of resistance or whether the universe is trying to move you towards something better. You’ll know by the way your work makes you feel—even if you don’t think you want to do it. For instance, in daily life, I think about how great I’ll feel after eating a salad rather than a burger and fries. Or the way I’ll feel after my workout and I’m in the shower. Or how it’ll feel to have the closets cleaned out or the place tidied up…
I believe, with everything inside of me, that I was meant to bring REALTalk With Sarah into the world. What I am doing feels awesome. I love my guests. I love my set. I love my team. I love so much about what’s being created, and I am grateful for all of it. So, even though I’ve been met with hurdles along the way, I am totally OK with that. I know it’s part of it. And I know that as long as I continue to feel excitement, joy and love when I think about it, then I am in the right place.
I hope you do the same in your life.
Because I want you to love your life one bite at a time.
P.S. Let’s TALK! I’d love you to scroll down to the comments and let me know your feelings around resistance. It can be so tough to overcome, but it is life-changing when we can start to push back on it and create the life we truly want.
P.P.S. If you would like more information about my “One Bite At A Time” Group Coaching Program, please know that Registration has closed for this round, but I will be re-running it again in the winter. Please email me at Sarah@SarahTalksFood.com and I will place you on the wait list. From there, we will set up a short phone call to ensure we are a good fit for one another. If I feel I am not the best coach for you, I may refer you to others in my network who might be better suited to help you achieve your goals.
P.P.P.S. If you haven’t already signed up, you might enjoy my 14 Days of Wellness. Simply enter your name and email address here. It’s free, with no diets, products, challenges or catches (you’ll just start getting a Tuesday email from me and you can unsubscribe at any time). I’d love to stay connected. xo
P.P.P.P.S. Let’s be friends! I’d love to connect socially on Facebook , Twitter and Instagram.
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