One year ago today, Roger and I landed on Vancouver island to begin our new life in B.C. As we made our way across, we visited many places, stayed in several cities and thoroughly enjoyed the trip. It was a dream come true for us to drive across this spectacular country and we look back on that time knowing we were making the biggest decision of our relationship to date.
I believe the two most important decisions we make in life are who we choose to spend our lives with and where we choose to live. Yes, we make all sorts of other decisions like the level of education we get, decisions around our career, whether to buy a home, and whether or not we’ll raise children.
But the decisions around WHO we choose to spend our life with and WHERE we choose to spend it, to me, are so fundamental to my mental, emotional and physical health that I believe they rank highest.
You see, for most of my life, I took a "process of elimination" approach. A "NOT THIS" way of making decisions. Rather than actively pursuing goals, I'd give things a try and then change course when I realized, "Nope! That's not it ...!"
I did this in friendships and in romantic relationships where I'd find myself with people who weren't necessarily a healthy match, but who were conveniently placed in my life. I'd get to a point where I'd realize that although it wasn't bad, it wasn't right. And I'd move on. I did the same in my career, where I'd work in an industry for a time before realizing I couldn't imagine a lifetime of that type of work, and so I'd move on to the next thing.
For a long time, I worried that I was flawed. Broken. That I'd be searching forever to find myself (I now understand I was never lost) and I worried about all the time I "wasted". I worried my approach made me seem "flighty", unreliable or unprofessional. I feared my inability to commit to things -- or people -- long-term would mean I was a failure in life and love. I now see this trait as one of my superpowers. If things aren't working, I don't just stay simply because I've invested time and energy into it; I realize some things aren't meant to be forever, and I shift, I adjust, I change.
Because if I've learned anything in my almost 48 years here on Earth, it is this; I am always, always allowed to change.
I am allowed to grow, evolve, and continue to become the person I want to be.
I am allowed to actively seek out things I want in my life and actively remove things I don't.
I am allowed to end relationships.
I am allowed to speak my truth.
I am allowed to ask for what I want and not apologize for my needs.
I am allowed to stop habits that don't serve me and replace them with ones that do.
Time and experience have taught me that what I value most is freedom. It's underlied so many decisions I've made including my choice to not have children, to become an entrepreneur, and in our decision to move across the country and start a whole new life out west.
I want the freedom to live and work and play wherever I choose, and right now that place is right here, on Vancouver island. I've been visiting this place for almost two decades (my parents retired out here) and each time I'd visit over the years, it became harder and harder to leave. My soul and my human animal feel alive amidst the mountains, trees and ocean, and I've never felt so at peace, so at home, so content with my life than I do right here. It's like my heart and soul have been waiting for me to finally get here and it's as if life delivered all those "NOT THIS!" experiences in order to land me right here, where I am.
Roger felt it, too, and as soon as we crossed into B.C. last year, Roger heard (literally heard) a voice saying, "I'm home." He shared it with me in the moments after it happened and we talk about it still. His human animal has come alive here, too. And our relationship has deepened in ways I didn't know it needed to or even could.
We've both shed a lot of layers in the year since moving here.
Weight.
Old resentments.
Unhealthy beliefs.
Unhelpful habits (I stopped biting my lips!! I know this seems weird to be excited about, but it was a terrible habit I'd built over 30 years!) and Roger stopped staying up so late, opting instead to get to bed early so we could start our mornings with a ritual of hydration, nourishment, meditation and movement before starting our work day.
At times, my ego tries to tell me I should feel guilty for being so content during this incredibly challenging time in the world. And then I remember how unhelpful that is. I think back to the years and decades of discomfort, when I knew the relationship or the career or the choices I was making weren't THIS, and I regret none of it; it's all brought me here. And I am deeply, deeply grateful.
I remember that this feeling of gratitude creates a ripple effect, and so I drop into it even deeper.
So, today, on our one year anniversary of living in this magical place, and in light of Canadian Thanksgiving yesterday, I want to thank every single person and experience that has lit my path; I needed each and every one of them to bring me HERE.
And I want to thank Roger for being the best decision I have ever made, for teaching me how to spread my wings and fly, for helping me to believe in myself and my gifts, and for being such an incredible life partner. I wouldn't want to do this life with anyone but you, and I can't wait to see where life takes us in the years and decades to come. I love you.
I love THIS.
And to you reading, I want to express my sincere gratitude for YOU. For being here, for connecting with me and allowing me to pop into your inbox every week, and for letting me know that my work and my life matter to you.
You matter to me.
If you're struggling with where you are now, remember this; you are always, always allowed to change. You are allowed to abandon old decisions that no longer suit you the same way you're allowed to part with clothing you no longer wear.
Remember, not a moment of your life has been wasted. It's all mattered. And each experience that's been delivered has been placed in your way so you can move closer and closer to THIS.
Your best life is worth searching for.
You deserve to live your one amazing life and it's found by looking at what's happening inside of it right now and asking yourself if it's THIS or if there's something better...
Might it be painful? Yes.
Might it be hard? Yes.
Might it be worth it? Most definitely.
Because YOU are worth the effort.
Because I want you to love your life one bite at a time.
P.S. If you've been feeling restless and uncertain; if you've been struggling with feelings of NOT THIS, know that I understand. I've been where you are. As a Certified Health Coach, I'm lucky enough to get to educate, inspire and motivate people to uncover what REALLY lights them up inside. It's about creating a lifestyle that feels like..."Yes!! THIS!" to you, whatever THIS is. Let's find it! Together. If you want a coach to help guide you towards your best life, I believe I can help.
Here's what Lesley had to say:
"It is so encouraging to me to understand that our life we have been given is full of beautiful opportunities to evolve and change and grow. We ARE NEVER Done. We are here for a long time yet, so making healthy whole food and whole life choices makes for a delicious life."
Book a FREE 30 minute Phone Call with me by heading to my website, OBAATCoaching.com, and clicking "Let's Chat!". I will be in touch to schedule our call. No pressure. Just a chance to see if we are a good fit for one another. If you're ready to do big things, let's go!!
xoS
P.P.S. And, if you'd like to join a group of likeminded people on a wellness journey, you're invited to join my FREE Facebook group called One Bite At A Time, where we share tips, resources and inspiration within a community of others seeking greater health+energy. Join us!
P.P.P.S. Here are a bunch of the Frequently Asked Questions I get about my 12 week group program. Let me know if you have any others by emailing me at Sarah@SarahTalksFood.com.
FAQs
Do you only coach women? Nope! I coach people with a human body and my programs are applicable to everyone. We are an inclusive group and do not tolerate discrimination of any kind in our spaces.
Do you only coach people in recovery or those who are overweight? No. I coach all people who are seeking a healthier lifestyle and who want to live with more freedom around food, sugar, weight and their body. Often, people who do my program have either quit drinking or want to quit drinking/cut down and/or lose weight, and I work with anyone who is contemplating making a health change, no matter how that looks for them.
Is your program offered in person or online? Online. You can live anywhere and access it!
What is your program about? My program is essentially MY personal recovery program; the one I patchworked together for myself 18+ years ago and all the way up to today! I share the best of what I've learned from the many teachers, coaches, experts and healers who have lit my path as well as the countless books I've read, documentaries I've watched, and research I've conducted (both primary and secondary) that's all complimented my education to become a health coach.
I believe in a holistic approach, so we don't isolate the physical from the mental and emotional; we work through exercises designed to help us integrate all aspects of ourselves and to heal in a way that allows us to move out of our past & future, and into the present; the only thing we ever have. You can see the entire curriculum at OBAATCoaching.com by clicking "Learn More" and if you have any questions, feel free to email me at Sarah@SarahTalksFood.com.
Who are you and what do you teach? I'm Sarah! And I'm a woman in long-term recovery from alcohol addiction. I went from being a pack-a-day smoker, nightly drinker, and late-night junk food eater to a woman who cares for--and about--herself in ways I truly never thought possible. I became a health coach to share my best practices--everything that worked really well for me in my life around mindset, fitness and food after I got sober 18+ years ago. Along with teaching my students the basics of nutrition, how to navigate the world of sugar, meal-planning 101, and cooking easy recipes together, we learn how to soothe our emotions without food and we go below the surface to understand ourselves and our behaviors better. We learn healthier ways to communicate, we learn to be more purposeful with our time, we learn to let things go, and we learn how to never, ever, ever go "on" or "off" a diet again. Ever. (Hint: because they work in the exact opposite way than we think they do!)
I've tried everything to lose weight. How is your program different? The biggest difference with my program is that it's got nothing to do with dieting, restricting or sacrificing. It's all about learning to cultivate a relationship with our bodies. I've cultivated a relationship of deep love and trust with my body and I teach others how to do the same with theirs. Caring for and nurturing our incredible, resilient, forgiving, capable, powerful bodies (and BRAINS!) is the most loving thing we can do.
While it's not really about the food, but rather our mindset and behaviors around food, we certainly talk food all the way along because we still need to make sure we fully understand food and the way it works in the body (and brain!). Doing so makes creating a healthy lifestyle so much easier! It allows us to start wherever we are and know that every single decision we make to nourish and nurture our bodies, counts. The opposite is also true. In my program, we work to arrive at a place where we feel a sense of love and reverence for our body.
How long does your program run and does it run year round? OBAAT runs for 12 weeks and is held 4 times a year, seasonally. The next (Fall) session starts on Monday, November 16th and runs until February 7th, 2020. Once you enroll ONE time, you get unlimited FREE access to ALL future group rounds of OBAAT that I run. Some of my students have been with me since the very beginning as a way for them to stay inspired, motivated, accountable as well as being able to dig deeper into the emotional work of the program.
How much does your program cost? My program costs $497 USD which works out to about $6 per day over 12 weeks. Remember, you get FREE access if you choose to go through any future rounds of OBAAT, so that price could end up being much, much lower. 🙂
What does the program entail/What comes with it? The program consists of 12 weekly lessons, or "trainings" delivered via video inside your Private Member Portal. Each training is between 30 minutes and an hour in length. Each week, you'll be assigned homework and mid-week, you'll have a live coaching call with me, via Zoom; You'll receive a digital copy of my Recipe Guide; a private Facebook group for your group alone--a great place to find community and accountability partners; a digital copy of my book upon completion; and access to me inside the private Facebook group, or via email or text, if needed between weekly live calls.
How much time each week should I set aside for this program? Plan for 30-60 mins to watch the training. As for the assignments, you'll find they vary widely from person to person and based on how deep you want to go/how much time you want to spend cooking, etc. So, it's completely up to each student how much time they spend.
When are the weekly trainings available?The first one in the September 2020 round goes up on September 8th. After that, tranings become available every Monday at 5 am ET. They are located inside your private member portal.
When are the live calls? For the September 2020 group, they run on Wednesday nights at 7 pm ET.
How do I access the live calls? We use Zoom. There will be a link that we'll use every week that I will email you and also share in our private Facebook group.
What if I can't make it to a Wednesday class? You are encouraged to block it off in your schedule as it's your opportunity to ask questions and receive coaching, but if you can't make it to a live class, not to worry! You can always catch the replay (and ask me questions ahead of time in the Facebook group, if you like).
Does everyone see and hear me on their computers? Only if you want us to. You can turn your camera and your microphone off, if you like, but you're welcome to share and we create safe spaces.
Do you only coach people of a certain age? No. I coach adults from age 18 to 118 (no offence to 119 year olds) 😉
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