I love children. I find them funny and adorable and interesting and wise. They have a way of always being in the present moment that inspires me, and I genuinely enjoy the company of children. As a teen, I was the neighbourhood babysitter that every family wanted to hire. I made a lot of money and I had a lot of fun spending time with kids. I also really, really love babies. I love their sweet smell and their little noses and their adorable toes and I even love changing diapers (it’s so satisfying to get them all cleaned up!) I love that fresh out of the bath smell and zipping them into onesies. It’s all soooo cute!!!
Growing up, I always assumed I would have children. It was just a supposition I held and I didn’t really question it or think about the pros and cons or what it would mean to become a parent–I just assumed that at some point, the conditions would be right, the desire would be there, and I would birth humans into the world.
But life had other plans.
I spent over a decade addicted to the most insidious drug there is–alcohol. I believe it is the most insidious because it’s glamorized and romanticized and marketed on television and in grocery stores and at restaurants and it’s “the only drug we have to justify not taking” as my friend Annie Grace reminds us in her work, This Naked Mind. My choices around relationships were tainted by my one, true love…alcohol. As the years wore on and my brain and body became more and more addicted, I found myself wondering if I would ever have a “normal” life. I equated “normal” with marriage and children, and I’d see families out doing things and wonder if that would ever be me.
Once I got sober and had some time in my new lifestyle, I began to really evaluate whether children of my own were a priority. It took time to untangle my feelings around my decision, but I came to know that although I love, love, love children, I wouldn’t be able to commit the kind of time, effort and energy required to really excel at parenting. I saw how much work it was through living close to my brother and sister-in-law and becoming an Auntie to my niece and nephew and I realized that I was just not willing to do what it takes to be a parent. And it’s a good thing, because I chose a partner who has never wanted children. And while both of us are confident that if we did have kids that we would shift our priorities accordingly, we are not mentally, physically or emotionally prepared for parenthood.
And that’s ok.
We’re not all meant for it, and I believe it takes getting really clear with ourselves to make choices that align with our values and our deepest desires. I needed to get sober to realize it, and I am so glad I did.
Not long ago, I was reminded of a past professor at college who shared with me, “Sarah, not every woman is meant to birth children. But you can mother in other ways.” That has stuck with me for almost 15 years, and when I wrote my book and supported people through their first Kick The Sugar Challenge, one of my students said to me “You are like our mother!” and it brought tears to my eyes. I realized in that moment that my professor was right…I can nurture and support and love people–I can mother them–even though I had nothing to do with birthing them.
It felt good to release the feelings I had around, “I should have kids” and instead settle in to, “I choose not to.” I still meet people who urge me to have them, saying things like, “It’s not too late!”, “You still have time!”, “What will you do when you get old and have no one to take care of you?”, and my favourite, “But how will you leave a legacy?”
I heard Oprah say recently that “your legacy is every single person you have ever touched with your life”, and my hope is that through the work I do in the world, I will have the chance to leave a lasting legacy.
One way I hope to do so is through the projects I take on. The Healthy Brain and Body Show is this coming weekend, and I am so excited to celebrate its birthday! We have the great fortune of collaborating with the most amazing people and businesses, and we have served thousands and thousands of people in the Ottawa/Gatineau area who are seeking to improve their health in some way. It is amazing what can happen to shift our mindset even through the seemingly simple act of attending a wellness expo of this magnitude and caliber, and we can’t wait to serve even more people this year.
Our baby turns 3 and Roger and I are so proud! We would LOVE to celebrate with you at the show. It’s FREE to attend, although we do collect for our favourite charity, Heroes Equine Learning Program (H.E.L.P.), supporting our military and first responders suffering with PTSD and operational stress injuries. Come with friends or alone, as you will be welcomed and supported as soon as you enter our space. Upon entering, the healing will begin, and you can spend as long as you like EXPLORING the show, CONNECTING with others, LEARNING new things and SHOPPING for the things that will take you closer to where you want to go in your life.
Because we only get ONE.
One life. One body. But rather than only getting ONE chance to improve our health–and our lives–we get forever chances. In each and every moment, we have an opportunity to enhance our health and well-being. We can take a deep breath. We can drink a tall glass of water. We can take the stairs. We can say “I love you” to ourselves and others. We can hold the door. We can surround ourselves with people who lift us up rather than tear us down. And we can attend a health and wellness expo that bridges the gap between our mental, our emotional, our physical and our spiritual health.
We cannot WAIT to host you this weekend. The first 1,000 people each day get a special coupon from Le Nordik Nature Spa. We have hired Aquahaulics to provide you with fresh, cold, filtered water all weekend (so please bring your reusable water bottle!) and in an effort to reduce and reuse, please bring your reusable shopping bags, as we don’t give them out at the door.
See you there, Ottawa/Gatineau/Wakefield and beyond (I know some of you are coming from Toronto and elsewhere)! We are going to celebrate our 3 year old together!
Because I want you to love your life one bite at a time.
P.S. Please visit the website for our list of Exhibitors, Speaker Schedule, and to get a taste of what you can expect! Ours is a family friendly event, so please don’t hesitate to bring the kids. We have The Zoo Crew, Obstacle Course racing with OCR, Tina Takahashi doing some martial arts, The Owl Cafe to relax, Mastermind Toys to play with, The Zen Zone to meditate (if your child likes doing this), various healers and spa treatments and delicious food sampling and amazing speakers to learn from (for older kids)! There is SO much to experience and we want your whole family to feel welcome.
P.P.S. If you’d like to prioritize your health for 14 days, I’d love for you to sign up for my 14 Days of Wellness. Simply enter your name and email address up on the right to begin receiving the messages today. It’s FREE, with no diets, products, challenges or catches…just a chance to remember how amazing you are…for 14 days.
P.P.P.S. Let’s be friends! I’d love to connect on Facebook , Twitter and Instagram. Plus, if you haven’t already subscribed to my blog, you should! That way, you won’t miss anything. Plus, as a thank you for joining, you will receive my 14 Days of Wellness.
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