Today, I’m offering a message that, had I learned earlier, could have helped me avoid some painful mistakes in my life. Perhaps it will serve to help you in yours.
The message is simple….believe in yourself. I say “simple”, but I know it’s not always easy.
It wasn’t easy for me.
You see, I went most of my life not believing in myself. I grew up feeling like I lived on the outside; like I never really fit in. I wasn’t one of the popular girls. I didn’t have a ton of friends.
I never knew how to be, and so I often adopted group morals instead of grounding myself in a value system that felt authentic. I just kept reaching for other people’s ideals.
Being a follower
I remember being as young as 7 years old when a friend said she wanted to be an archaeologist. I had never in my life even heard that word, and yet right then and there, I decided that I wanted to be one, too.
But did I begin to seek out interesting rocks, or analyze them to find traces of animals etched on their sides? Did I go home and ask to go to the library to research fossils? Did I check out our encyclopedia Britannica collection to learn about archaeology? Did I have any intention whatsoever of actually becoming an archaeologist?
No.
Archaeology wasn’t my passion. It wasn’t even something I could define. I just knew that if my friend wanted to be one, then I should want to be one, too.
In the summer between grades 9 and 10, my family moved from Ottawa to Waterloo. I met a girl on the first day of school and I remember admiring her so much for her confidence; she really seemed to know who she was. She knew what bands she liked and the clothing she wore expressed herself in such a unique way.
Before even knowing whether or not I liked their music, I decided that Pink Floyd was my favourite band, because it was hers. I decided to use green pens to take notes just like she did, and I packed away my penny loafers and sweaters to make room for baggy plaid shirts and ripped jeans…I would become grunge, just like her.
I was a follower.
For decades, I was a follower because I couldn’t be a leader while I was trying to live someone else’s life.
It wasn’t until I finally woke up that I realized the world needs each and every one of us exactly as we are in order for us to connect authentically with others.
I spent so much time trying to fit in with people who were nothing like me; people whose values were completely misaligned with mine; people who didn’t push me to become the best version of myself; people who held me back in my life because I allowed them to; people who held themselves back in theirs and allowed me to help them do it.
I still have the tendency to sell myself short. I can still listen to the lies that tell me I’m not good enough and “who am I to (FILL IN BLANK)?”
But more often than not, now, I push those voices aside. I thank them for their contribution, but I remind them that I make my own decisions, and I choose not to heed their warnings or believe their negativity.
Being a Leader
Courage can be defined as “being afraid and doing it anyway”. If you read last week’s post, you’ll know that Roger and I have just returned from PEI where we were asked to deliver a message to 80 restaurant, hotel and brewery managers. We titled our talk “The Greatness Factor”, and the biggest theme was leadership. We talked about how being authentic, being humble and inspiring through a cause greater than themselves was at the root of leading their teams to greatness.
But before they could lead their teams, they had to believe, 100%, that they had the power to do so. We reminded them that they set the tone, they determined the climate, they created the culture, and they got to decide what happened within the walls of their business.
We encouraged them to believe in themselves.
I was scared to do it. I was worried they already knew everything we were going to share and that they would be bored. I was concerned they’d feel we were talking down to them and that we’d appear condescending. I was worried I would stumble over my words and not be able to inspire anything in any of them.
But amidst all that worry was another voice; a voice that reminded me how far I’d come. A voice that insisted on being heard because it was the truth; I had prepared and anticipated this day, and I had a message to share that had changed my own life.
After we delivered the material, we received lots of great feedback and many kind words. Most importantly, the owner and CEO of the company, Kevin Murphy, was pleased with our presentation and we have connected in a way that will allow us to continue a working relationship as we move forward, which is exhilarating for us! We LOVE the people we connected with while there, and we can’t wait to do more on their beautiful island.
Believe in Your Dreams
When we first arrived at the Charlottetown airport, I was so excited to see a sign with “Ms. Sarah Roberts” held up by our driver, Rod. This has NEVER happened to me before, and it was exhilarating to be welcomed and chauffeured to the hotel. When we arrived at The Great George, arguably the most prestigious hotel on PEI, never in my wildest dreams did I believe we would be staying in the suite enjoyed by Reba McEntire, Mike Holmes, Paul Martin and many others. Perkins House is a three storey home, and Kathy Murphy’s impeccable taste and sense of style has been injected into every single nook and cranny of the space. We arrived to lovely music playing, fresh bouquets of flowers in several rooms and we were welcomed by an overflowing gift basket and this lovely note:
I let out a shout of pure joy and then I proceeded to Face Time my Mom while Roger skyped his! I couldn't believe what was happening to us, and over the course of our 5 days there, we were overwhelmed by the love and generosity we encountered by the owners, Kevin and Kathy Murphy, the General Manager, Rachel Vidito, and the Guest Services Manager, Ian Cheverie, as well as every single one of the team members of The Murphy Hospitality Group that we had the privilege of meeting.
If you are looking for an incredible island experience, please look no further than their businesses. They will make you feel right at home...but better! If you'd like a peek into The Perkins, I think you'll enjoy this video where I walk you through.
Keep Going...
I am going to continue to push myself to believe in me. I know I have gifts to offer, and I can only offer them if I am being who I really am. I encourage you to do the same and create the life you dream of living. It was only when I started living authentically that opportunities began to present themselves. Only then did people want to hear what I had to say, because when we hear the truth, we know it. Only then could I lead people towards better health and fitness or away from addiction, or towards better business decisions; through using my own truth, sharing my own values, by sharing my own story.
Realize that by being who you really are, you will be able to lead people to becoming who they really are. Then, keep believing in yourself and your dreams; just remember to make sure they are your dreams. I never thought my dream would be to use my story as a recovering alcoholic turned health and fitness enthusiast as a way to connect with others, but this is exactly what has happened. And I am choosing to embrace it.
My life is unfolding as we speak, and I know that as long as I stay true to what is real for me, I can continue to serve others in a way that helps them lead better lives. I am not changing everyone; I am not touching everyone; but the goal is to serve those who need to hear my message. So I will keep that dream alive.
I can't wait to see what else is in store for your life as you push yourself to share more of who you really are.
Because I want you to love your life one bite at a time.
P.S. To learn more about The Great George and the Murphy Hospitality Group, click here.
P.P.S. To watch my "down and dirty" workout from another stunning Great George suite (the 3rd floor of Cundall House), and to discover more reasons to fall in love with PEI, check out this post!
P.P.S.S. Remember, if you'd like to sign up for the Kick The Sugar Challenge, click here and join the Wait List! The book is almost ready for you, and I will notify you as soon as it is available!
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